Reckless

LifestyleGambler

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It’s building up, getting worse. I can feel my control slipping and I know it won’t be long now until the storm breaks free. H is learning to sense it too, starting to understand what the signs mean. He hasn’t pinpointed it just yet, but it won’t be a secret between us much longer I don’t believe. Sure going to the gym sometimes helps short term, but I can’t get what I need there. Whilst listing off an array of ideas to put my energies in to recently, H asked if I needed to text O. Rather than releasing the “YES!!!” which was screaming inside of me, I took a breath and answered, “No.” remarkably calmly if I do say so myself.

We had plans to hook up with Mr. Shy Guy again last weekend, but I asked H to cancel the morning of. I was exhausted from working…

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